As the poet Rilke said, "Loving another person is the hardest work there is, such that all other work is mere preparation."

Dr. John Becker is a Licensed Psychologist and Certified Imago Relationship Therapist with over thirty years post doctoral experience available to help you make that work be as efficient, effective and enjoyable as cutting edge clinical practice and social science research allows.

Couples Therapy

Feeling alienated from, misunderstood and/or criticized by someone you love can be some of the most painful experiences in one's life. Being confused about whether to continue a commitment in a relationship with such continuing pain can make the suffering even worse.

It's been argued that 95% of marriages fail to achieve what we're all hoping for, to find real love. This failure rate is not because so many have married the wrong person. This extremely high failure rate is due to the lack of knowledge that we all need to have when we enter into the most important relationship of our lives.  While the majority of people entering an important relationship assume that both they and their partner already have the skills  to creatively handle the inevitable disappointments and conflicts, that same majority hasn't been exposed to the knowledge that recent research has revealed about the keys to success in committed romantic relationships. Even if they have seen some of this research, hardly any have been supported in making this knowledge a habitually used skill set.

When trying what they had thought would improve their relationship doesn't work, most understandably try to compensate for this lack of knowledge by using what they do know with more intensity. They become even more kind, more helpful, more critical, more accommodating, more "logical",more inquring or more withdrawn. This crisis in a relationship can become a wonderful opporunity to transform the relationship to one filled with joy, respect and passion, if the couple is willing to commit to new learning.

There are more effective and creative alternatives than trying the same approach with more and more effort or, if that approach fails, separating from your romantic partner. Psychological research in recent years has revealed proven strategies that lead to deepening safety, respect, intimacy and love in romantic relationships. What is even more exciting is that these skills are very learnable.

While Dr. Becker usually helps couples learn these skills in a weekly or biweekly session, Dr. Becker also sees couples for "Compact Couples Counseling" in a private, two six-hour day format.

It is preferable that your partner actively participate in learning these skills with you from the beginning. However, you can learn how to respectfully invite your partner into deeper levels of emotional intimacy by learning these skills initially by yourself. For detailed information on this program, see the "Solo" Couples Therapy page at www.southfloridapsychotherapy.com.

Dr. Becker's approach to Couples Therapy is especially cost effective because, rather than encouraging a continuing need for his advice, interpretations and arbitration, he helps you learn and master the skills necessary to dissolve conflict and create continuing emotional safety, joy, and passion in your relationship.

To schedule an appointment at any of the South Florida offices, call John at 954-558-8683 or email him at drjohnbecker@earthlink.net.